i am not a house
Sarah Mischker
2022
Projection, animation, sound, painting, furniture, potato, bric-a-brac
As a continuation of past exploration in different modes of living and what it is to be alive, I am not a house further explores these themes of living and individuality by looking into the home with the goal of causing the viewer to question their own ideas and experiences. I am not a house is a visual metaphor of the body and specifically how others try to exert control over other’s bodies.
The house is the place where we live our lives and escape to. It’s a haven and a place of vulnerability, yet it is also a place of security and strength. But after all of this, the house is just a building. We move into different ones, knock them down and build new ones. We change them as we please and see fit, they have no say and even if they did, would anyone care? I am not a house and I do have a say.
Using various medias and materials to create a home setting, memories and the ghosts of the past surround the viewer. The sounds of a life not lived play out as a painting of a scene never finished awakens and finishes itself. As the painting and sound dies, remind yourself, this is not a house.
So where are you?
metamorphoses
Sarah Mischker
2021
Video, digital collage, soundscape, handmade mask, handprinted fabric
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“Eventually I lost motivation. I had one or two interviews that ended with me never hearing from them again, not even a rejection. This desperate search for a job continued for over a year. Every day, I was alone in the house and alone in the world, I didn’t know anyone here and I didn’t know how to meet anyone. I met [my husband’s] friends and we hung out on occasion but again, we were extremely poor. We couldn’t afford to go out drinking and socialising. So, I was alone, day after day. I had bought painting and drawing supplies from a cheap, discount store so that I could continue making. But nothing I did mattered, nothing I created I liked. Nothing felt like me. I began to lose myself in the endless days of loneliness. I felt worthless. I felt unwanted here in this place that I desperately wanted to know more about, explore, be friends with. I cried most nights, some nights I couldn’t sleep. My husband tried to comfort me but there wasn’t much he could do. I had no purpose and I felt broken by it.”
Metamorphoses takes place in this story and in these experiences. My mask represents the loss of my purpose, my self-worth, even the loss of myself. I will seek my shelter for its comforts of home. As for so many years, my home became my place of reflection, of anguish, of learning and eventually of hope. After this experience, I emerge from my home, taking my experiences with me, I am a new being and the home is a part of me.